


Good for Me (Rewrite)

by ChangingbacktoBellamort500



Series: Good for Me Rewrite [1]
Category: The Boys (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, Mommy Issues, Pre-Canon, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-09
Packaged: 2021-03-10 09:46:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27968531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChangingbacktoBellamort500/pseuds/ChangingbacktoBellamort500
Summary: Homelander can't put into words what he wants from Madelyn, but he knows it's beginning to impact how he does his job.
Relationships: The Homelander | John/Madelyn Stillwell
Series: Good for Me Rewrite [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2048444
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	Good for Me (Rewrite)

**Author's Note:**

> Set way before s1
> 
> I decided to rewrite the good for me series. I'll be leaving the original up, but the new version will be longer and more improved.

Homelander can't put into words the way he feels about Madelyn Stillwell. Looking at her makes his stomach tie itself up into knot like his insides balls of wool unravelled than all tangled up. It's more than lust; lust, he could handle it if it were that. 

He has known her for three months, two weeks, and three days. In that time, she is all he can think about, one word from her can make or ruin his whole day. Homelander spends his time seeking out her company or spying on her. It's an obsession. One that plagues him when he is awake; haunts him while he is asleep.

The last week she's been ignoring him; going to events for other heroes, being there for them, smiling sweetly in front of the cameras. He has watched every event, brought every magazine with her picture on to catch a glimpse of her.

And in her downtime, she's with some puny, random normal who smells like beer and sweats too much. Madelyn laughs at his jokes that aren't funny, smiles at him, encourages his attention. It fills Homelander with rage thinking about it; anger flows through his body along with blood.

It's why he made a mistake. It's why those people are dead. Madelyn was to blame. He tells himself that over and over as he stands in her office.

Homelander has her attention now; she can't ignore the mess he has made or him. But the sighs of disappointment that escape red-painted lips sting like having salt rubbed into an open wound. It makes him want to cry for the first time since he was a boy, alone locked behind a door.

He can imagine her telling everyone at vought, how the powerful Homelander cried like a baby in front of her. Homelander bites the inside of his cheek hard, pain to distract from the emotions that threaten to overwhelm him.

"You are the one I'm supposed to be able to rely on, the one who doesn't make mistakes or give into vices yet ten people are fucking dead on an easy job. What happened?" Madelyn asks her voice like honey, but her words are like venom.

It feels like verbal disembowelment. Homelander wants to run, run away like a child and sulk until she's in a better mood with him, but he doesn't. No, he stays and stands his ground.

"While you were busy holding the hand of that snivelling little weasel Ice Spikes or whatever his name is I got left with some useless idiot who advised me badly," he half whines, half snarls. He was lying, Sandra, had done her job well. Ensuring multiple times he knew the plan. Homelander at the time had been impressed with her competence and professionalism.

Everything was going great until the tv in the background in the room the hostages were being held Madelyn appeared with Ice Spikes at her side. He lost it. There was no other way to describe it, and by the time Homelander regained control, everyone was dead. 

It was like for a few minutes he wasn't him any more. His body was a puppet for his emotions.

"I'll have her contact terminated immediately. Nobody needs to know that you were there today. Pay off the police, and hush money to the families. It should all go away," Madelyn tells him and her voice so soft, that all familiar feeling of want returns. "But this can't happen again".

Madelyn moves towards him slowly like a snake getting ready to strike out. Her hand reaches out and touches his face, caressing his cheek softly. It is the first time she has ever done this, the first time he has felt her soft skin on his. 

It's the sweetest of torture. Homelander doesn't want it to end, but at the same time, the feeling of want threatens to overwhelm him. Her touch has him under a spell. Homelander is sure Madelyn Stillwell is a witch, how else could she make him feel this way. 

No other woman has ever had this effect on him before.

"I need to know there is one person I can trust, one person that can help me make Vought everything I know it can be,"  
He finds himself nodding along. Words trapped his throat.

"I know packaged the right way you'll be good for this company, good for me," Madelyn lingers on the word "Good" in a way that makes him want to whimper. He can't explain it, but he wants to hear that word from her over and over again.

And when she removes her hand from his face, he does that; whimper at the lost of contact. It sounds so strange coming from his lips, but if Madelyn thought so she didn't let it show.

"Now you have a big day ahead of you tomorrow; you should eat, shower and get some rest," Madelyn is dismissing him. They both know it. Homelander wants to beg for five more minutes of her time. He'd listen to anything she wanted to say. Hell, he'd sit in silence and watch her work, but the words to ask or beg won't come out his mouth. 

Maybe it's pride, or perhaps it's because he doesn't know how to ask it that keep the words trapped inside him. But the words that do come out are "Will you be there tomorrow?". 

"Seeing as no one else around here can seem to manage a simple mission goes smoothly, yes," Madelyn answers. "We may even grab a bite to eat afterwards if everything goes as it should,".

Homelander was determined more than ever that tomorrow everything Madelyn wanted would happen flawlessly especially if it meant he got time with her that wasn't strictly work related.


End file.
